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The Northern side of Besant Nagar beach – closer to the Orur Alcott fisherman’s village. Quite a few kidnappings/molestations have happened there in the recent past. Wear rings on the ring finger of the left hand before going to the beach.

Claim to be recently married and act a little offended (just a little) at cop’s invasion of privacy, but commiserate with his overall crusade/struggle against the heinous crime of sitting next to each other on sand without wearing rings/thalis/toerings etc. Additionally create a contact on your mobile phone (preferably girl’s) named “Appa” that actually connects to a close friend who can confirm your “married” status. Sometimes, just acting as if one is dialing that number and handing the phone to the cop is enough to convince him that you are not the typical thiruttu lover case. Ever since Chennai maamas and maamis have started wearing NRI-children-gifted New Balance sneakers and become health freaks, most parks have become way too crowded for couples.

In Chennai, the presence of unmarried girl and unmarried boy within a distance of 10 metres from each other is considered to be a public display of affection. Today, you probably will be, but the policeman patrolling Marina beach is likely to make polite enquiries about your status (Vekkam, Maanam, Soodu, Soranai) and generally haul you back home. The real irony is that the puritanical maamas and maamis of yore are slowly getting used to the fact that there exists this sane middle ground between the extremes of Satyabhama University boy-girl rules on the one hand and teenage pregnancies on the other.

But with almost every engineering college doing practically everything short of neutering male students before admission, Chennai is entering this new weird era where young boys have no clue how to talk to a girl, let alone ask her out.

As a guy, you might not notice anything, but your girl will feel extremely uncomfortable at all that open-mouthed attention.

And one other thing – Chennai discs play only English dubchick and Hindi dance music.

It’s almost as if most of the maamaas in Chennai are like Zaphod Beeblebrox, one head solving the Hindu newspaper crossword while the other is busy scanning beaches and parks for any public displays of affection with an extremely critical eye. I mean, 15 years ago, if you had 2 X chromosomes, you wouldn’t be allowed out of your house after 6 pm.But unlike some other cities in India, you are not likely to get killed. After all, if they are charging half your month’s salary for food and drinks, the restaurant can’t be a bad choice, right? When coming to date, you definitely need to focus on some basic principles that can result into a great restaurant and a marvellous evening.But as Ramsu rightly points out, The Efficient Jalsa Hypothesis states that: So my recommendation to pairs – get together, start a and create a constantly updated encyclopaedia of “safe spots” in this city.Overall, Chennai is not an unmarried-couple-friendly place.

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